Isolated and Unmedicated

What more do you want from me

You knew exactly what I was when we met

You knew exactly how I was from the start

Locked away like a dirty secret, yet

Made to feel even worse any time

I just want to spend time with just you

But that cannot happen, “all you want is sex!”

Of you’d think that it is just that instead of tu

For these years of my life I’ve only connected

When skin on skin is a part of the picture

I have done all I can to curb that part of me

I have done all I can to stop the days of lore

And all i get from you is that touching me is a chore

You don’t want to be with me, this i can see

All the conversations you have with others proving a point

One day may you find what you seek that’s not in me

The glint sparkles on the wall

You don’t seem to understand how I miss the you

Rather be on your phone looking at other shit or some baking show

Then you reminisce about the things you used to do

You get pissed when I cannot leave the past

But then you say your every reaction is based on it

You continue to give to everyone else your time

And when you see me, all you give me is shit

Isolated and unmedicated, I’m left to stew

Struggling with my mental state

You leave me day in and day out, making me want to scream and shout

You think that a separation will wipe the slate

I cannot get away from my hell, even as you yell

Bound to this place as you flutter about

The lacerations on my leg went unnoticed

The laceration on my face you barely cared about

Cry for help screamed, yet help wasn’t rendered

Sleepless nights deteriorate the health, physical

Why do you have such hatred for me

If I bring any of this up, you claim I’m mental

Continually pushing me out of your life

You are driving me closer to a knife

Carotid so close. What do you want from me

I don’t know what to do as I drown inside

Do you love me, respect me, or just want to accuse me?

There are things I have desired that not to hurt you I hide

I’m honest with you about external desires

Yet, jealousy abounds and I’m striped again

I want you more than you ever understood

Can’t stop the feelings as i gaze upon the edge so thin

What more do I need to give?

I cannot be a slave to someone. The yoke chafes

I don’t want to just exist, I want to live

What do you want with me?